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"ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK “Let Us Give You a Hand in Communicating Effectively” ABB Lummus Global B.V. The Hague, The Netherlands Edited by: Alexandra Atepaeva Debbie Evers Loes van Gijn Bianca de Ruiter LGN SFOR 02-7000-02.021 (2002-01-01) Blank US ABB Portrait.dot Page 1 of 34 ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY Introduction The purpose of this Communication Handbook is to assist you in communicating effectively. It gives clear practical tips per each topic that might be applicable to your daily communication within the company. The layout of the Handbook is very simple with an index of topics for quick reference. There are also some pages at the end of the Handbook, which you can use for your personal notes. The Handbook is advised to be kept on the work desk for an easy reach when needed. For further support and advice on communication you can always contact the TQM Communication Group in room 1317 (Alexandra Atepaeva, Debbie Evers, Loes van Gijn, Bianca de Ruiter). 2 ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY How to … 1. Be a good communicator 2. Communicate effectively 3. Listen strategically 4. Win people’s cooperation 5. Negotiate 6. Give feedback 7. Deal with criticism 8. Keep discussions from turning into arguments 9. Resolve conflict 10. Present 11. Use e-mail properly 12. Use voice mail effectively 13. Telephone effectively 14. Use your voice effectively 15. Have an effective meeting 16. Have an effective brainstorming session 17. Final Tips p. 4 p. 5 p. 7 p. 9 p. 11 p. 12 p. 14 p. 16 p. 18 p. 20 p. 21 p. 23 p. 25 p. 26 p. 28 p. 29 p. 31 3 ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY Be a Good Communicator • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Give full attention to people while they are talking to you. Encourage other people to talk, and ask appropriate questions. Present your ideas so that others are receptive to your point of view. Treat people fairly and let others know how you want to be treated. Value teamwork and know how to build cooperation and commitment. Show respect for people’s ideas and feelings, even when you disagree with them. Accept differences and conflict as a normal part of any work environment, and know how to address them constructively. Strive to understand other people and to be empathetic. Be open to negative feedback, and communicate difficult truths in a respectful way. Be able to easily win people’s trust and respect. Check to make sure you have understood what other people are trying to communicate. Be confident and at ease giving a presentation. Avoid making absolutist judgments about people (e.g. “He/she is always that way.”) Follow through on your commitments. Be able to work with people you have difficulties with without becoming negative yourself. 4 ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY Communicate Effectively Connect o Establish rapport with people o Pay attention to people’s facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice. o See things from the other person’s point of view. o Adjust your communication style to match theirs. o Avoid criticizing, making negative judgments, or saying that the other person is wrong. o Show interest in the other person’s interests and concerns. o Encourage people to talk. o Show your willingness to listen. Minimize distractions. Attend to the other person with your whole body (your body language, eyes, facial expressions). Nod your head and give verbal cues to communicate that you are paying attention. o Ask open-ended questions. o Listen to what people are trying to communicate, not just to what they are saying. Listen to their emotions. Listen also to what they want. o Check to make sure you understand. Use your own words to reflect what you have heard and noticed. Listen Communicate o Speak with sincerity and conviction. o Be sensitive to other people’s communication style. o Know what you want to accomplish. Do you want people to understand your position? Lend their support? Approve your request? o Listen at least as much as you talk. o Attune what you say with how you say it. Keep your message fitting with your tone of voice, facial expression, and body language. 5 ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY Speak o Project confidence. o Connect with your audience. o Know what you want to accomplish. Do you want people to understand your position? Lend their support? Approve your request? o Keep it short and simple. Most communication can accomplish only one objective, develop three main points, and hold people’s attention only so long. o Ask for feedback; was the message understood. 6 ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY Listen Strategically We can communicate on one or all of four different levels at any given time: 1. 2. 3. 4. Facts Meaning Feelings Intention “The house is burning” is a simple, straight-forward statement. But those four words – depending on how they are said – may mean: • • • • “A residential structure is being consumed by flames.” (Facts) “The house we are in is on fire.” (Meaning) “Ahhhhh!!!!!!” (Feelings) “Run for your life.” (Intention) Sometimes we do not understand other people because we are not listening, or we are not listening well. We are destructed or simply are not paying attention. But sometimes we do not understand them because we are not hearing what they want to communicate. We are not listening to the right level. We may hear the facts for example but miss the feelings. People want to → Your task is to → You need to ask → Your goal is to → Convey Information Listen to details and clarify “Who?” “What?” “Where?” “Why?” “When?” “How?” Picture the situation as the person is describing it 7 ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY People want to → Your task is to → You need to ask → Your goal is to → Make themselves understood Listen to the big picture, summarize and paraphrase “Am I understanding you correctly?” “Is this what you are getting at?” Understand what the person means, and make the other person feel understood. People want to → Your task is to → You need to ask → Your goal is to → Connect on emotional level Listen with empathy, pay attention to body language and tone of voice “How does it make you feel?” “It sounds to me like you are feeling …” Recognize how the person is feeling and make the other person feel connected People want to → Your task is to → You need to ask → Your goal is to → Get their needs met Listen to wants and needs, focus on solutions, action steps and outcomes “What do you want to have happen?” “What would help you in this situation?” “What can you/we do about it?” Know what the person wants to achieve 8 ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY Win People’s Cooperation 1. Make people feel understood. Spend less time trying to make people understand what you want, and more time making them feel understood. In an ideal world people might make decisions, commitments and judgments based on logic and sound reasoning. But in this world people act in response to their preferences, feelings and social influence they might not be even aware of. If they trust you and feel you care about them, they are much more likely to cooperate with you. 2. Find common ground Show people how their needs, values and dreams mesh with yours. To do so, you have to understand their values and concerns. See things from their point of view. Be sympathetic with their feelings. Then show them how cooperating with you can help them achieve what they want. 3. Listen. Listening is the best way to make people feel understood and at the same time to find common ground. Ask open-ended questions, the kind that invite people’s careful consideration and honesty. Try to understand what people mean, without getting hung up on the literal meaning of their words. And acknowledge their thoughts and feelings (which is not the same thing as agreeing with them). 4. Do not argue. The person you defeat in an argument today may be the person whose cooperation you need tomorrow. Arguments make people stake out positions and defend them. And the more you try to prove them wrong, the harder they will resist you. People may feel overwhelmed and stop arguing with you. But that does not mean you have won them over. Most of the time, when you win an argument, you lose an ally. 5. Care about the people you want to influence. If you are concerned about the people you are trying to win over, if you value their needs and dreams, they will know it and they will reciprocate. They will communi9 ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY cate more freely, speaking their mind more openly and listening more attentively. They will give you the benefit of the doubt and they will want to cooperate. 6. Be open for other’s ideas. Do not try to impose your ideas on others only. Listen to and value the ideas of the people that work for you or with whom you work together. Be open minded and feel confident with sharing the ideas with others. Even request for new ideas to gain people’s support and cooperation. 7. Help people believe the change is possible. People often know, although they will not often admit, that they need to change. They feel a vague uneasiness, sensing that things will not pan out the way they want. But they persist in doing what they have always done, thinking they are doing the best they can. Show them a better way, but more importantly convince them that the change is possible. Do not just give them a solution but offer them confidence. 8. Time your request well. There is a time and season for everything, especially for asking for support. When people are feeling stressed out, anxious, angry, resentful or threatened, they are not really receptive. Do what you can to reassure them and to make them feel safe, and you increase your chances of winning their support. Look for “moments of influence”, times when they feel capable and confident, and make your best case then. 10 ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY Negotiate • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Prepare for negotiation. Do not view negotiation as confrontational. Do not try to win at all costs. Do not become emotional. Listen to the other person(s). By listening you might receive information that will help you further in the negotiation. Try to understand the other person. Focus on issues, not personalities. Do not blame the other person. Use questions to find out what the other person’s concerns and needs might be. When you hear the other person express their needs or concerns, use listening responses to make sure you heard correctly (“So, you are saying …” “If I heard this right …”). State your needs and the reasons. Prepare options beforehand. Anticipate why the other person may resist your suggestion, and be prepared to counter with an alternative. Do not argue. Aim at win-win situation not a compromise. Consider timing. 11 ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY Give Feedback 1. Do It Often Virtually no one thinks they get enough feedback and that is because virtually no one gives enough. 2. Do Not Be Shy Give feedback as close to the event it refers to as possible. This way what happened is fresh in everybody’s mind and it will be easier to learn from it. 3. Give It Some Meaning Always provide the context before you give feedback. For example “I wanted to talk to you about the report that you wrote yesterday.” 4. Be Specific Talk about what went well and what could have gone better for the individual or the team. 5. Describe Actual Behaviors Where Possible Avoid the infamous “feedback sandwich” (good-bad-good) – it comes across as untruthful and dilutes the impact of good feedback. 6. Give a Wider Context Describe the impact it had and on whom. This gives an idea of how important it is. 7. Be Generous with Positive Feedback With positive feedback describe what it tells you about the individual. There are not many greater motivators than being told you are a wonderful person. 8. Allow People a Chance to Respond If they would like time to reflect, let them, and agree to talk about it again at a future date. Do not force people to talk about it though. 12 ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY 9. Remain Objective Do not let your personal prejudices get the better of you. Remember you are giving feedback for the other person’s benefit and not to vent your own spleen. 10. Build an Action Plan With critical feedback make sure there is an agreed way to progress. Find the right time and place. 13 ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY Deal with Criticism 1. Listen Impartially Not showing any negative or defensive emotions when listening will stop you appearing vulnerable or fragile. 2. Summarize What the Other Person Has Said This means you have understood them correctly and also that you have taken it all in. 3. Ask Questions The more specific the criticism the more helpful. Find out what you did and when that gave them their impression. This will mean you will not make the same mistake again. 4. Criticism is Rarely Groundless but Often Exaggerated Decide which elements are useful and what you can do differently to be more effective. 5. Think about How the Person who Criticizes You Looks at the World Could they have been trying to help? Are they under pressure themselves? Think about why they have these views about you. This could give you some useful selfawareness. 6. Ask Those Who Criticize You for Their Advice By making them part of the solution they are less likely to criticise you in the future. 7. Thank People Who Criticize You Not only have they given you free information but you will also disarm them. 14 ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY 8. Reframe Criticism Which Focuses on What Went Badly Consider what positive steps you can take to improve in the future and what you have learnt from not succeeding. 9. If You are Angry, Take it out on Something , not Someone It is understandable to be annoyed but not very useful. 10. Praise Others for What They are Doing Well It will give you the moral high ground and make you popular (as well as reinforcing productive behavior). 15 ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY Keep Discussions from Turning into Arguments The only way you can make sure you never loose an argument, to paraphrase Dale Carnegie, is to avoid getting into one in the first place. In a discussion everyone wins. When Having a Discussion We treat people as partners in a problemsolving session. We share ideas, consider alternatives, and evaluate the pros and cons. We listen to other people’s thoughts and explore ideas we haven’t previously considered We learn more about the issue, about what we think and feel, and about each other’s values. We seek people’s support, not their resentful silence. We may passionately disagree with each other but mutual respect keeps the discussion civil. In an argument no one wins. When Having an Argument We treat other people as opponents to be defeated. We draw sides, defend our own positions, and attack the opposition. If we listen at all, we do so only to find the weaknesses in the other person’s reasoning. We are not open to new ideas or the possibility of changing our opinions. We want to prove the superiority of our side and the weakness of the other side. Even when we “win” an argument, we usually do so by losing a potential ally. Tips to keep discussions from turning into arguments: 1. Do not argue. Refuse to get drawn into an argument. Be civil. Respect the other person as much as you honour your own values. Be assertive without resorting to aggression. 16 ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY 2. Seek areas of agreement. Often we agree with people in principle but disagree with them in practice (we want the same thing but have different ideas of how to accomplish it). Find those areas of agreement. Make them clear. Try always to make the other person a fellow problem-solver, neither an opponent nor a friend. 3. Focus on interests, not positions. An issue is what we want or need. A position is a way of achieving it. Avoid getting attached to your positions so that you do not lose sight of your interests. It is often easier to negotiate and compromise around interests than around positions. 4. Try to see things from the other person’s point-of-view. There is a reason why other people act and think the way they do – however how illogical, wrong-headed, or misguided as it may seem to you. If you criticize them or show disapproval for their reasoning, they will only harden in their resolution. They will resent and resist you. Seek, instead, to discover their hidden reasons, and you will find the key to their motivation. 5. Ask clarifying questions. Ask open-ended questions. Closed questions – like “Do you agree with my proposal?” – limit people’s ability to express themselves. Open-ended questions – like “How do you feel about my proposal?” – give them freedom and give you more information. 6. Listen. Spend more time listening than speaking (you can not get yourself into trouble by listening, but you sure can start a brawl by speaking). Listen with your body, your eyes and your mind as well as with your ears. Try to understand what people mean, without getting caught up in the exact words they say. Make them feel understood, and they will be much more likely to try to understand you. 7. If you are wrong, admit it. There is nothing wrong with changing your opinion, once you have gained new information or perspective. As a matter of fact, it is the sign of wisdom and maturity. Remember that you have been wrong in the past even when you thought you were right, and admit that you might be wrong this time. 8. If you are right, allow the other person to save face. You are trying to win people’s cooperation, not to prove them wrong. Your kindness will do more to gain their goodwill than anything else. 17 ABB Lummus Global B.V. COMMUNICATION HANDBOOK COMMUNICATING EFFECTIVELY Resolve Conflict If you view conflict as something that should not happen, something that harms relationships, it becomes negative. And then avoid it and hope it would go away. But if you see conflict as a fact of life, an opportunity to strengthen relationships, you have a way to resolving conflict by turning it into something creative. Try these 10 ways to resolve conflict: 1. Agree on a mutually acceptable time and place to discuss the conflict. 2. State the problem as you see it and list your concerns. o Make “I” statements. o Withhold judgments, accusations, and absolute statements (“always” or “never”). 3. Let the other person have his/her say. o Do not interrupt or contradict. o Do not allow name-calling, put-downs, threats, obscenities, yelling or intimidating behavior. 4. Listen and ask questions. o Ask fact-based questions (who? where? what? when? how?) to make sure you understand the situation. o Ask exploratory questions (what if? what are you saying? is this the only solution to your problem? what if did such and such? are there other alternatives to this situation?). o Avoid accusatory “why” questions (why are you like that?). o Use your own words to restate what you think the other person means and wants. o Acknow..."

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