Jeff Dunham - Achmed the Dead Terrorist

Achmed the Dead TerroristAchmed is a wisecracking skeleton with a beard and a white turban (an early version of Achmed stated that it was not a turban, but underwear, because 'when someone says it's time to kill yourself, it scares the shit out of you!'). He is used by Dunham to perform comedy based on the contemporary issue of terrorism. He is known for yelling, "Silence! I kill you!" to people in the audience who laugh at his customs.He insists on pronouncing the "ch" in his name with a hocker (voiceless velar fricative). When asked how his name is spelled, he replies "A... c... phlegm..." and is interrupted by the audience's laughter. He responds with his usual cry of "Silence! I kill you!"Jeff originally got the idea for Achmed from his good lifelong friend, Connor Mayne. Jeff made Achmed out of Connor Mayne's skeleton Halloween decoration.Achmed's normal routine involves him realizing that he is dead. He looks out into the crowd for his 72 virgins, then asks, "Are you my virgins? I hope not!". When Jeff asks why, Achmed responds, "There's a bunch of ugly-ass guys out there!" and, "If this is paradise, I've been screwed!". Jeff replies, "Did they say they would only be female virgins?" which causes Achmed to realize that the gender of the virgins was not specified and says, "Holy crap." Achmed adds, "Wait, I can have Clay Aiken," which refers to the popular belief that Aiken is gay (though Aiken has denied this). Achmed may seem like he is Muslim, but he has refuted this claim. When asked, he replies "Look at my ass; it says 'Made in China'". Afraid of Walter, with whom he shares a suitcase, he claims that "Saddam's mustard gas is nothing compared to a Walter fart."Achmed is a Suicide Bomber and has received training from the "Suicide Bomber Training Camp." It used to be a nice facility until a new recruit "tried to practice." The training camp, he explains, recruits people with a slogan not unlike "We're looking for a few good men" - "We are looking for some idiots with no future." It is noted that a typical place to recruit potential suicide bombers from is the suicide hotline.Achmed's fatal accident, while making him unafraid to crack potentially offensive jokes ("I'm dead, what do I care?", he points out), has apparently left him somewhat remorseful ("I am a horrible suicide bomber," he laments) and with a hair-trigger intolerance of any comments that sound racist to him. He has apparently also become a fan of rock music and video games such as Guitar Hero and Halo since joining Jeff's suitcase posse.Jeff and Achmed did a Christmas special in which Achmed sang "Jingle Bombs", accompanied by "guitar guy" aka Brian Haner, comedian and father of Synyster Gates, lead guitarist of the band, Avenged Sevenfold.Achmed was originally introduced in late 2001, just after the 9/11 attacks. At the time, he was introduced as Osama bin Laden; it was not known at the time if bin Laden had survived the assault at Tora Bora. When asked what sort of training occurred at a terrorist training camp, Achmed/Osama replied "explosives training, weapons training, arts and crafts...". Indicating his turban, he added, "See my turban? I made this!"

Comments : 3

	sexywrestler67 Mon 15/06/09 18:26 (spam)
ob1 you suck

	sexywrestler67 Mon 15/06/09 18:23 (spam)
i just saw jeff dunham last night at rexall place

	ob1 Tue 24/06/08 10:15 (spam)
bravo :) poz za tronija

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